Family Issues

I am sure if I were to poll the audience all of you would probably have a story to tell about a time when one of your parents intervened in situation thinking they were helping you, but it turned out to either be harmful or really embarrassing. It’s a delicate balance as a parent to decide if you should help your son or daughter handle a situation, or if you should allow them to handle it themselves. Or maybe you are just a parent who constantly unintentionally embarrasses your children. I’ll never forget my freshman year of high school, I was taking Algebra I and I had a very good looking teacher. Many of the guys in my class always looked forward to Algebra I every day. My parents went to an open house at the school where you meet the teachers, and my mom mentioned to my Algebra I teacher that I thought she was good looking. She told me this when she got home later that night, and I was dumbfounded that she would communicate this information to my teacher. Needless to say, the next day in school was highly embarrassing for me, and this happened like the first month of school so I had to deal with this the whole year. I wanted to move to another school.

In the story we are looking at this morning, we are dealing with a mother who is really looking out for the best interest of her sons, but she doesn’t realize what she is asking. So join in with me as we read Matthew 20:20-28.

Examine Your Requests before God:

"Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something." — Matthew 20:20

There is a distinct difference between Matthew’s account of this story and Mark’s account. In Matthew’s account, the mother of James and John is responsible for asking the question, but in Mark’s account James and John bring the question before Jesus. One theory is that Matthew allows the mother to take the blame in order to protect James and John’s reputation. We don’t have a great reason for why Matthew chooses to mention the mother and Mark doesn’t. I just find it interesting.

Matthew tells us that the mother kneels before Jesus here, but the word for kneeling is indicative of an act of worship. Almost as if she is praying to Jesus that he will provide these seats for them in heaven one day.

Jesus’ response is very respectful. He does ask her what she wants. He doesn’t dismiss her or say he is too busy to consider her request. He is ready to hear what she has to say because he cares for her and her sons.

As we read this account it is very easy for us to pass judgment on James and John because we know all that Jesus goes on to do later in the gospel. But in this moment, James and John are looking out for their best interests. The human race is as a whole is guilty of doing the exact same thing.

Self preservation is a sin that we all struggle with. We all desire to be the hero of the story. We all want to be the smartest, hardest working, best looking person in the room And when we aren’t we are looking for ways to get there. One commentator noted that the human concern with status and importance is an instinct that has to be unlearned by followers of Christ.

As you approach the Lord in prayer, what are you asking for? Are your requests all self centered? Is there a global perspective in your praying? Are you praying for the nations of the world to come to faith in Christ? While going to

God with our personal requests is important, I would encourage you to make a list of others that you can pray for. This will help your praying be less self centered.

God Sees the Big Picture:

"Jesus answered, 'You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?' They said to him, 'We are able.' He said to them, 'You will drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.'" — Matthew 20:22-23

Many times we pray to God for things, but we are not really aware of what it would entail if God actually answers our prayers.

James and John wanted to sit at Jesus’ right and left but were not aware of what that entails. Imagine the weight of sitting at the right and left of Jesus. Would you really want to be responsible for that? You see, James and John wanted the fame, prestige, and power, but I bet they didn’t want the consequences surrounding that, and Jesus was aware of this. He is able to see the bigger picture when you and I are not able to see it. Sometimes he knows what is the down the road so he answers our request in his providence. Sometimes he answers our requests and allows us to experience pain and suffering because he knows it will be better for us in the long run. Don’t your life being easier to mean God answered your prayer, and don’t equate unanswered prayer to God being mad at you. His ways are so much bigger and better.

What does Jesus mean he says you will drink my cup? In the OT the cup is often a metaphor for blessings, or judgment. In Isaiah and Lamentations, however, the cup is associated with suffering. Jesus is letting James and John know that they will in fact suffer for being associated with Jesus. He confirms that they will drink the cup.

Jesus’ prediction for James and John rings true. We know later in Acts 12:2 that James is killed with the sword by Herod. And later John is exiled on the island of Patmos. So both do in fact drink the cup.

Was suffering a part of God’s plan for James and John? Yes, it was. It’s not like they suffered because they lived these horrible lives. They suffered doing the very thing that God called them to do. Their situation shows us that suffering in your life can absolutely be God’s will.

• Pastor John serves with his family in Tanzania in an almost entirely Muslim area. When he went to this area there were no people in his church. Over time, John knocked on doors and shared the Gospel with people and the church grew. Then one night during an all night prayer meeting a group of men came and set the church on fire. The church was devastated, but pastor John told them that the Bible teaches that suffering is not something we can run from.

I in no way want to belittle the suffering that you are experiencing this morning, but I do want to offer you hope. That God is well aware what you are experiencing and he will use it for good to bring glory to himself.

Serving Others Helps Your Relationships:

"And when the ten heard it, they were indignant at the two brothers." — Matthew 20:24

A sure way to upset friends or others that are close to you is to talk about yourself, your problems, your dreams, etc. all of the time. What were with the other disciples upset about? The implication here is that James and John went secretly to Jesus to ask to sit at his right and left without any concern for the other disciples.

It wasn’t just that they wanted the best positions for themselves, but that they did so at the expense of 10 of their closest friends. It was a cheap shot, and I am sure the other 10 disciples felt betrayed.

The lack of James and John’s concern for the other disciples damaged their relationships. But when we choose to serve other people it helps our relationships. It doesn’t just help our relationships with friends, but with the community, with the church, and with the cause of Christ.

Very few people will look down on you when you choose to serve them. In fact, more than likely they will ask you why you are doing this for them, and that is an opportunity to share with them about all that Christ has done in your life.

I know a lot of us in this room struggle with turning the conversation to spiritual things. But the more people you are willing to serve, the easier it will be to begin talking about Jesus. Because on our own, we don’t have the natural tendency to serve.

• A few weeks ago I finished reading Shoe Dog, which is the story of Phil Knight, who is the founder of Nike. It is an autobiographical book about how Nike was started and all of the early successes and failures that he had. Early on in his life, he moved to Hawaii for a time and was selling encyclopedia’s to make rent so that he could spend his time beaching a beach bum. He talked about how he was no good at it, and it always felt like a chore. But he says when he would go to these high school track meets to sell shoes he would do great. And the lesson he learned is when you believe in the product that you are selling it’s enjoyable. It gives you purpose, fulfillment, and motivation. Brothers and Sisters, if Jesus provides us purpose, fulfillment, and motivation (which he should) then sharing our faith should be enjoyable. It doesn’t need to be a chore or a burden. Do we believe in the product that we are selling to people?

Humility Sets You Apart for Gospel Work:

"It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." —Matthew 20:26-28

The whole point of this encounter is summed up in these last few verses. Jesus uses this opportunity to teach the 12 what it means to be a servant.

Being a servant of others is so radical. We are not inclined to live this way. From the time we are little kids, society teaches us that you want people working for you. You want people serving you. Being a servant is a job for the “least of these.” The goal of life is a wealthy job, big house, fancy car.

But Jesus blows all of this out of the water. The goals isn’t accumulating wealth and status for yourself. It’s finding a way to accumulate wealth and status so that you can give it away. So that anytime someone asks you why you are so successful you can say because God allowed it to happen. Then use that wealth and status to further his kingdom.

• I love this quote from Francis Schaeffer which is convicting to me personally. He says, “The Bible says we are to give out cups of cold water. How many have we ever given out to the long haired and barefooted boys? Don’t try to get your church to begin if you haven’t begun yourself. Do you talk against the affluent society. That’s another thing we evangelicals are now good at. We are against the affluent society. How many times have you risked your share in that society, getting nicked and scratched in the name of Jesus Christ? How many times have you risked breaking the springs in your car crowding kids into it to take them somewhere? Don’t talk about being against the affluent society unless you put that share of the affluent society which is your hoard on the line”

You see its really easy for me to stand up here and tell you what the Bible says, but only I know how obedient I am being to what the Bible says about the things I preach to you. So it’s gut check time for me too on all of these issues.

When you do these things in humility that are so counterculture to what the world teaches, you are being a Gospel witness. Your humility will set you apart from those around you.

Jesus reminds us the whole reason that we serve. He gave up his life for us. He served us literally till his death, and it is only through his death that you and I can be made right with God. His example to us should serve as a constant reminder that if he was never done serving then we are never done serving either.

Everyone knows Amazon right? How many of you in this room have ever ordered anything from Amazon? I bet 80% of this room have done it. We like Amazon because they have most everything you need and you can get it pretty much as quickly as you want it. It allows us to avoid driving to the store, standing in line, etc. The Amazon brand is known because of their speed and efficiency. Just about a month ago they opened up their first Amazon Go store. It’s a grocery store where you can get your groceries and check out digitally. There are no cashiers working. Their entire premise is that you don’t have to wait in line. Now look at this picture. The first day of their opening there were lines out the door. Article after article, picture after picture you can find on the internet about this. People were so frustrated and upset about it. Here’s the deal, Amazon can talk all day long about how they are fast, efficient, there won’t be lines but at the end of the day its now what you say its what you do. Can you actually deliver on the claims you are making? You and I deliver on our claims by serving others. We can talk all day long about Jesus. But are serving people in the name of Jesus. If we’re not, we’re no different than Amazon.