Visible Reverence

 

Scripture:

1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

 

Sermon Notes: 

Intro: I heard a C&W song on the radio by Mark Chesnutt that lamented: “It’s too hot to fish, too hot to golf, and too cold at home.” In fact, a lot of popular music celebrates romance and laments marriage.

The relationship of marriage is mentioned often in scripture both in the teaching sections and the historical sections. Peter draws upon the historical sections concerning Abraham and Sarah to encourage wives who are living in difficult situations.

Women followed Jesus. Widows were a highly significant group in the church of the first century. Women have often responded to the gospel more readily than men. This first paragraph is written to encourage women who are believers but whose husbands are not yet believers.

Men are from Mars, women from Venus. Men are warriors. Women are nurturers. Men are hunters. Women are gatherers. Generally speaking there are differences in perspective and attitude between the sexes. Husbands, wives, and all people may profit from these simple instructions of Pastor Peter:

 

I. WIN FAMILY by CONDUCT: They may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives (I Peter 3:1-2).

A. Why would behavior be so essential for convincing someone close to you that Jesus rose from the dead? This is the Good News, the Word of the Resurrection. Isn’t it all about words? Aren’t we in an intellectual struggle to affirm that Jesus is still alive?

B. Behavior is actually the reason you believe the good news about the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Had the disciples behaved differently—been sullen, joyless, cowardly, and noncommittal—after they said that they saw the risen Christ, no one would have believed them. It was their new lifestyle of boldness and joy, coupled with their proclamation of the resurrection, that convinced people who were not eye witnesses that it was really true—these people really believed what they were saying.

1. The disciples are taking big chances on the day of Pentecost as they go public with this affirmation. The authorities just crucified Jesus. They would certainly be interested in containing any talk about the resurrection.

2. The people of Jerusalem had been talking about Jesus prior to this day. They were aware, many of them, of his Triumphal entry into Jerusalem just days before his death. They were aware that he took a whip and drove the moneychangers out of the temple courts. They had heard some of his teachings, perhaps, and been drawn into discussions about who Jesus was and could he be the Messiah.

3. It was the boldness of Peter and John and the other disciples, here in the wake of the execution of their leader, that caught people’s attention and made them listen to their words.

C. You might think that this behavior component to the proclamation was only necessary for the eye witnesses, that the second generation of believers forward could affirm the resurrection without confirming it with behavior. But that does not work, either. If you are going to say something as startling as, “Jesus of Nazareth rose from the dead,” you will have to back it up with a lifestyle conformed to that confession or people won’t believe that you really believe what you are saying.

D. It is typical for a spouse or a parent to hear the confession, “I believe in Jesus as Lord,” and to mark it down as a temporary fad, a phase their spouse or child is going through. They do not assume right off the bat that the person has actually believed the gospel.

1. They begin to watch their life. They are looking for evidence that this child or spouse actually is conforming her life to the confession she has made.

2. So it is the responsibility of everyone who believes the gospel to organize their entire lives around the truth of the gospel. This is the only way that subsequent generations will ever take seriously the truth we have spoken.

3. The disconnect between words and deeds in the life of a parent may contribute to a disconnect between the child and faith in Christ. If we are going to church, singing the songs, but not conforming our lives to the truth we confess, our children will pick up on this, and they will believe our behavior, not our words.

E. Our closest loved ones are the ones most resistant to a confession of faith that lacks living proof in behavior. We do not win them over to Christ with arguments usually. If they do turn to faith in Christ, it will be through observing our behavior. By the way, this is the only time in the New Testament that they idea of “winning” someone to Christ is espoused, and here they are “Won over without words.”

So what kind of behavior is winsome for the gospel?

II. EMPHASIZE INNER BEAUTY: Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight (I Peter 3:4).

***In the John Grisham movie, The Firm, Ray says to Tammy, “I love your crooked little mouth.” Tammy laughs and says, “Well it‘s not my best feature.” Holly Hunter was nominated for an Oscar as supporting actress, I think, just for that line.

So what is your “best feature”?

A. Your best feature, ladies, is not the geometry of your face, the height of your cheekbones, or your shiny hair. Men, your best feature is not your six-pack abs or your bulging biceps. Your best feature is neither your stylish dress nor your 1967 Mustang. For all the talk about physical appearance, intelligence, and wealth, none of these are actually your best feature.

B. Your best feature is your inner beauty. It’s the nature and quality of the inner you. We have truly lost sight of this as we have all become Material Girls and Boys, caught up in the lie that the trappings are all there is. In this age of the flickering screen we have separated physical appearance from quality of character. From actors to preachers, we assume that these people who glide across the stage or ripple their muscles are our best role models.

C. For all our loved ones, a “gentle and quiet spirit” is of great value to God and should be of great value to us. The bombastic, rude, and crude YOU that might make people laugh at a party is not so funny when you live with it 24/7.

D. Pastor Peter points here to qualities of character that may be developed over time in anyone’s life. These character traits are more than individual behaviors—they are styles of behaving in the world. As such they point to life orientation—your faith and your values and your priorities. This is why INNER BEAUTY is the most important confirmation of the gospel that you are able to give to those who love you. It is your STATE of BEING in the world.

III. DON’T SQUANDER the GRACIOUS GIFT OF LIFE: Be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life (I Peter 3:7).

A. INNER BEAUTY maximizes this gracious gift of life. THIRD DAY living seizes the moment as God’s gift to us.

1. You have chosen to walk this life together. Your futures are inextricably linked together in the covenant you have made.

2. The CLOCK IS TICKING. Once you say “I DO” you did it. It lies in the future in that you must DO again every day. You need to stop thinking so much about what you are going to do one day and realize that here and now, THIS IS WHAT YOU DID with the gracious gift of life.

3. A spirit of GRATITUDE should permeate every marriage, every home, and every heart. We are HEIRS of this gift. We did not do anything to be born, to come into this world. We are enjoying what someone else did for us. Your next breath—there it comes—is a gift from God.

B. INNER BEAUTY DOES NOT FADE. THIRD DAY LIVING looks to Resurrection as the ultimate reality. One day this body will go into the ground, but my soul will return to God who gave it. And my moral and spiritual development will be preserved in the life to come.

This is the problem with emphasizing the outside of the cup. You can keep it clean as long as your eyes are good enough to see every speck. You can keep it slim as long as your health is good enough to do the exercise. But you can fight the wrinkles and the sags only in some ways, not in all, and you can only do it so long. Eventually age creeps over all of us. We look in the mirror and realize that the physical appearance we valued so highly is gone.