A Push From Mom

Series: Conversations with Family

January 08, 2017 | David Crosby
Passage: John 2:1-11

Who would have thought that the first mighty sign of Jesus’ lordship would be a food miracle--turning water into wine? He refused the temptation of Satan to turn stones to bread. And then he follows his mother’s lead and turns water into wine. Wine? Really? We need bread to live. But who needs wine to live? I have lived my whole life without it. 

Wine was the beverage of choice in Jesus’ day. Vineyards flourished in the climate of Israel. There was no way to prevent grapes from fermenting. The fermentation actually was helpful in killing harmful microorganisms, making wine a safer beverage than their water. 

We should note that the Bible is full of examples of drunkenness and a consistent prohibition against it. Drinking wine is not intrinsically sinful. But getting drunk is the abuse of wine and is always condemned in Scripture. Noah’s drunkenness caused his family much misery, a common story around the world and through the generations. 

Today, though, we are not focusing on the question of drinking wine but looking at Jesus with his family. And this is one of the few incidents involving his family as recorded by the gospel writers. 

Jesus was invited to a wedding where his mother felt some responsibility. It may have been a family member. If you want Jesus at your wedding, you should invite him. And if you want him to bless your family, you should invite him to be the guest at every meal and every family occasion. 

According to the interactions of Jesus and his family members, these are things that families do: 

Solve Problems:

"When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, 'They have no more wine.'” - John 2:3

Mother Mary notices what others might have missed. The hosts have run out of wine. 

  • She feels an obligation to help with this problem. That may be her personality. Or it could be her assignment. 
  • Her mind goes immediately to Jesus. Perhaps she senses that the time has come to call on him. We can say for sure that nothing like this has ever happened publicly. 

Families are designed for problem-solving. 

  • The family needs to go to Bethlehem to register. Joseph solves the problem. 
  • When the newborn needs warmth, the problem is solved by Mary who wrapped him in swaddling clothes. 
  • When the family needs to flee the wrath of Herod, that problem is solved by Joseph. And when it is time to return, Joseph once again takes the lead. 
  • When the boy Jesus was separated from his parents in Jerusalem, both parents helped solve that problem. 
  • And now, when Mary sees a problem, she turns to her son for the solution. 

Your family is designed for problem-solving. 

  • See the family as a problem-solving entity. Then you will be less surprised when problems arise. You will find the solution more readily right there among you family members.
  • Every person in your family fulfills an important role. The roles are not the same, and they vary according to the talents and interests of the family members.
  • I don’t know why Mary did not call on James or Jude to solve this problem. Maybe it was motherly intuition.
  • But what she decided to do produced a spectacular solution and result. 

Think now about what is troubling your family. Is it a problem to be solved or a condition to be managed? Some conditions are chronic in every family. Joseph has died. That is a condition. Adjustments have to be made. Jesus has a unique calling. That, too, is a condition to manage. And Mary is doing that in part right here. 

But running out of beverage for the wedding is a problem to be solved, not a permanent condition. 

Disagree with Each Other:

“'Woman, why do you involve me?' Jesus replied. 'My hour has not yet come.'” - John 2:4 

I think we are interpreting the text correctly by noting the tension between the perspective of Jesus and the perspective of his mother. 

  • Mary sees Jesus as the answer to this problem.
  • Jesus thinks the whole thing is premature. 

This disagreement does not indicate that one person is wrong and the other is right. Nor does it indicate any moral failing on the part of Mary or Jesus. 

  • They may have a disagreement about the timing, but it is not something that will come between them.
  • Jesus is going to roll with it. 

Try to see disagreements as matters of perspective and interest rather than black and white, right and wrong. 

Grant each other the room to have a different point of view. Jesus freely expresses his alternative view. He does not hold back. That is probably an indication that Mary and her adult son are frank and honest with one another. They share their hearts easily one with the other. 

What damages the family is not disagreements but the disagreeable attitudes that may develop. 

Challenge One Another:

"His mother said to the servants, 'Do whatever he tells you.'” - John 2:5 

There is tension between Jesus and his mother. 

Mary is going to push her son now. She is going to put him on the spot. 

Mary involves people outside the family in her conversation with Jesus. She turns to the servants and says, “Whatever he says to you, do it.” I picture her pointing at her son and giving him a wink. 

Does Mary have a sense of the calling and destiny of Jesus? Is she sensing that it is time for him to step out? 

  • Graham has a favorite new sentence: “I can do it.” If you try to help him with a task that he can do, he will push you away and say, “I can do it.” It is the natural development of his independence and his confidence in himself. The companion of this attitude is the attitude of the parent or grandparent who says to the child, “You can do it.” You are capable of handling this challenge. We cannot always hold their hand. We have to let them go and walk on their own. 

A healthy family stretches us, tests us, and challenges us to become all that we can be. 

Expect God to Reveal His Glory:

"What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him." - John 2:11

We can set aside the timing problem without having to resolve it. Jesus said “My time has not yet come.” And his mother immediately turned to the servants and put Jesus on the spot. The result was that he performed his first revealing miracle—his first mighty sign. 

  • Mary believed in her son from before he was born. She was told by the angel that he would be the Messiah and the Savior of the world. 
  • Mary wanted everyone to know who Jesus really was. I think this was her agenda. She had a 30-something son who had a great calling and needed to reveal that calling to all. 

Jesus responded to being put on the spot by solving the problem. It was a game-changer. His glory was revealed, and his disciples believed in him. 

Life was never again the same for Jesus after this wedding. His mother pushed him out front, and he was dramatic in his success. His response went beyond a simple solution to a dramatic solution, a notable miracle. He produced the best wine they had at the wedding that day. 

His disciples are said to believe in him. This means that they are turning toward Jesus as the Messiah, the promised one of God. They still have questions. His brothers have not turned that way yet. But things were set in motion by this miracle at the wedding. 

  • The master of the banquet did not realize where the wine came from. Perhaps he never found out.
  • John writes, “We beheld his glory.” John knew where the wine came from and believed in him. That is what mattered on this day and the purpose of this miracle. 

I love the picture of Jesus at the wedding with his friends and family. To me, it is one of the great moments recorded in the life of Jesus. The drama of the wedding enhances that picture along with the modesty of Jesus and the boldness of Mary. 

Stay with Each Other:

"After this he went down to Capernaum with his mother and brothers and his disciples. There they stayed for a few days." - John 2:12 

After this episode at the wedding, Jesus traveled with his mother and brothers and disciples to Capernaum and stayed a few days. Despite the exchange of words at the wedding, the family stayed together, traveled together, and spent several days on the road together. 

Families make the choice to stay together. Sometimes it is maddening, the tensions within the family. Sometimes it seems that the family cannot possibly survive. But family members choose to put the faults and failings behind them and to move on together. That’s what families do. Even when they have tensions, they stay together. 

The family is the building block of society because it is built on a covenant relationship of trust in one another. My trust is not that every family member will behave perfectly. My trust is that each member will protect the family and maintain the security of the relationships that bind us together.

Series Information

Jesus was part of a family. His family loved him and tried to protect him. Some of them had a hard time believing that he was the Promised One.

We will tune in to the family of Jesus in January, looking and listening for clues that may help us as we seek to love each other and walk together in faith with our families.  

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